Curls & Twirls

Ah! I am guessing my entry today will attract many comments from starwars fans. (Or maybe not since nobody who’s really a fan reads my blog.. Which allows me to be more honest!)

(Ooh, and pls do excuse me if I get some of my star-wars terminology wrong)

In a galaxy, far far away, I went to watch StarWars Episode III: Revenge of the Siths, with my sister. We were NOT blown away. We were dissatisfied. It was a sad movie, but what was more tragic was that most star-wars craEzy fans all over Malaysia refuse to accept this fact. No, let me take that back. Star-wars craEzy MALE fans all over Malaysia refuse to accept this fact. But to all those who are willing to listen, let me tell you why starwars 3 is an over-rated B-grade film.

First let me tell you about the anticipation I had to watch Starwars. I guess the fact that David is a hard-core fan somehow did get me excited, but Arvin’s testimony really did the trick. He had called all the way from UK (or so I heard from Foong Jin) to tell Rohan that Starwars was the best flick he had watched in ages. He claimed that "Revenge of the Siths (I shall call it ‘Siths’ for easy reference) touched on every emotion in the human soul and made you feel sad, happy, angry, upset, nostalgic, triumphant, (i.e. every sentiment the human heart can understand.)." I only felt one emotion after watching it: disappointed.

Firstly, the story is very simplistic and hardly plausible. In such a short time-span, Anakin is swayed from being an arrogant yet extremely ethical jedi to a power-hungry fanatical Sith who believes the council is jealous of his powers. For someone who comes across as extremely opinionated and principled, it is hardly believable that he would compromise his values simply to save his pregnant wife. (Do not get me started about how gross it is that he has a physical relationship with a woman who is a generation older than him!) Would someone raised a Jedi find that reason enough to commit Jedi genocide and kill younglings? That is stretching credibility just a little too far. Either that, or Anakin is simply a flake. He pretends to be convicted about his ideals, but runs the other way as soon as his emotions come into play. Seriously, Anakin Skywalker may be attractive, especially when he turns evil *swoons*, but the pathetic qualities of his character far outweigh his sex appeal.

Now let’s get started on Padme. (I know many of you will simply claim that I am jealous of Natalie Portman’s beauty. Although I know I am not, I will not attempt to convince you otherwise.) Queen Amidala – supposedly the revered Senator who knew Anakin while his hormones had not yet started raging – is another wretched character in the whole movie. For someone who is considerably older than Anakin, she is hardly mature and blinded to Anakin’s flaws until the very last minute. She believes in Anakin’s empty promises and refuses to try and mend the situation – although she suspects something is not quite right. Seriously, she was a SENATOR. A POLITICIAN. I mean, she is a respectable woman whom, I presume, is knowledgable and aware of the situation of the war. Are you seriously telling me that Padme had no idea about the internal conflicts of the republic and put complete trust in her dearest, arrogant Anakin? *sigh* Yet another weak personality. Is this why she has so much sex appeal? Because she plays a feeble character whom ignorantly puts faith in her man? Queen Amidala is hardly admirable to any respectable woman, but I guess this appeals to the Y-chromosome? Makes them feel all macho? (I am not a feminist, just in case you were wondering…)

Now we have the dialogues. Ohmygosh, those ridiculous dialogues. I am not complaining about Yoda’s incorrect grammar, but the overall lack of personality in the verbal communication. The words spoken by all characters were simplistic and unrealistic, making the conversations rather artificial and pretentious. I don’t quite know how to explain it– but perhaps this excerpt from a commentary might:

"In this heretic’s opinion, Sith is a stiff, brought down by that special knack Lucas has of turning flesh-and-blood actors into cardboard cutouts. To hear Anakin and his pregnant wife, Senator Padme (the vivacious Natalie Portman rendered vacant), discuss their marriage — a secret that could get Anakin defrocked as a Jedi — is to redefine stilted for a new millennium. The minute any character — human or droid — opens a mouth to speak, your eyes glaze over. I kept thinking how much better Sith would play as a silent film, with only Chewbacca allowed to do his Wookiee growl and John Williams to trumpet his recycled score."

Stilted. That was the word I was looking for!

I think Stitled doesn’t just define the dialogues – but the whole movie as well.

I hope this article doesn’t step on any starwars fan’s toes. It’s just my opinion. I guess the force just isn’t with me?

This entry was posted on Friday, May 27th, 2005 at 1:43 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.